Down, way down

Well, here we go again. The birthmother has decided she needs more time. I can understand her feelings. She has had this baby for two months. It has to be hard, but I keep telling myself that she considered adoption, so there must be no way for her to keep him. Otherwise, she would have never considered adoption. I may be lying to myself, but it gets me through the day. Anyway, if she gives up the baby we will get him. The only question now is will she do the right thing? I don't know how I will handle it if we don't get him. A friend was saying this is like a miscarriage. Although I didn't feel him inside me, I was, am already in love with him. The baby things we have became his things. I bought him a baby's first Halloween outfit. God, I hope he gets to wear it. I will continue to post. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.